


Healing Yourself and Healing Others: Abby Griffin's Journal

by alstat



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Journal Entries, Kabby, s6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-21 17:38:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16581035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alstat/pseuds/alstat
Summary: This is set after Abby wakes up from cyrosleep and will be entries that Abby writes in her journal while Marcus is still in cyrosleep.





	1. August 14th, 2081

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how this will go and if this will be any good, but I have had this idea for a couple months and decided to try it out. I do not have an update schedule in mind, so I will update as they are written.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

August 14th, 2281

It’s been 4 months since I got out of cryosleep. I don’t know why I still write these every day. Maybe it’s my way to stay sane without you awake. Not forgetting who I am. Who I was. Who we are. Who we were. It’s been safe to wake you for 4 months now, but I’m not sure how long the medical technology can keep you alive. I’m still working on a plan and improving the technology so I can make sure you stay alive. I cannot wake you up until I know I have the best shot at keeping you alive. I said it a long time ago, but I’ll say it again; I cannot lose another man I love. I trusted someone else to keep Jake alive, and this time, your life is in my hands. I have never doubted my medical abilities before, but I’ve also never quite worked on someone who was eaten by another human. You, Marcus Kane are too stubborn to die, and I wish I could wake you up today, but I need more time to learn about the new technology on this planet. Everyone else who was injured and put into cyro is alive and well.

Anyway, I still have hope. The planet has more advanced technology, and Raven is helping me understand how their medical tools work. Soon. Soon I will be able to wake you. When that time comes, just know that I love you and this is our second chance. I know Eden was supposed to be our second chance, but this time, I think we can find peace with the others and we might eventually find peace with ourselves. I know I can do anything as long as you are by my side, I just need more time before you can be by my side. Vinson did quite the damage to your side, I have to make sure I can fix it. If I woke you up today, you would be in pain until I found a permanent fix. You don’t deserve any more pain. I fear I am not strong enough to endure this new planet without you, and the only thing keeping me going is knowing I will eventually find a cure. We are making strides every day, and some are losing hope that you will wake up, but I can’t live in a world without you, and I won’t either. I was the reason Eden wasn’t our second chance, and I will not let this be the reason we do not get one now. 

Diyoza gave birth today. She named her baby hope. I know the name came from you. If I ask you, you’ll just say I gave it to you, but one thing you do not know Marcus; the hope was always inside you. It was just buried underneath the guard position you had and your desire to make sure we survived. We did Marcus. We made it. Watching you become the man you have is such a beautiful experience. I know you think you are unworthy of my love, but it is I who is unworthy. 

I hope we can talk soon and that I won’t have to rely on these entries to keep me from losing hope and staying sane. I must be doing a good job at acting confident because Clarke, Jackson, and Murphy have stopped taking turns watching over me. You would be very impressed with Murphy. I always was and still am amazed by him daily. He would make a very great doctor if he wanted to become a full time one. He mostly comes in to make sure I eat, drink, and sleep. He's like you when were in Arkadia. I don’t think Jackson will ever stop constantly worrying about me. He cares about you too. I know he didn’t always trust you, but he wants you awake too. We all do. This new planet needs your mind and outlook to make this a home. Diyoza has been telling me some of your conversations while you were away, and that society you envisioned for Eden can happen here and across this entire planet. I need you and we all need you. 

I hope to wake you soon. 

Until we meet again. 


	2. July 14th 2081

July 14th, 2081

 

          It’s been three months since I’ve woken up. You still haven’t yet, and I want more than anything in the world for you to wake up. To come back. Come back to me. Come back to everyone. We all hope we can find a solution. I’ve been trying to avoid this entry, but the longer I can’t find a solution, the more I need to write this. The Earth is gone, Marcus. It never survived. You don’t know this, but when I was working on you, McCreary sent a bomb down on Eden. The only survivable place on Earth and we as humans still mess it up. Do we deserve a second chance? In this case, it would be a 3rd chance.

         We were supposed to be asleep for 10 years until the Earth healed. The Earth couldn’t heal. Instead, we were in cyro for 125 years. If we were old then, I don’t know what we are now. Luckily, I don’t feel a day over 50. I know how much the Earth meant to you, it meant a lot to all of us, but for you, I know it meant extra to you because of Vera. I’m putting this here in hopes that it will be easier to explain to you once you wake up, which you will because I am much too stubborn to allow you to die yet. We’re in this together.

        Monty and Harper didn’t make it.. They didn’t go into cyro. They wanted to live together, and that’s how Monty noticed that the Earth wasn’t healing. They did have a son. His name is Jordan Jasper. I know Harper was special to you as a guard member. Jordan is somehow equally just like his mom and his dad. He is a perfect reminder of the weight of the past, but also a promise of the future.

       I know you are going to ask where we are now. We are at a new planet. This planet has two suns..It was unbelievable. Now we’ll catch two sunrises together each morning. What I’ve been told is that Eligius 3 went here after their mining mission. I don’t know the whole details because I’ve been researching their medical technology, but I do know this is a second chance. I wanted our second chance to be on Earth too, but maybe on this new planet, we can truly embrace it as a new start and find a new way to survive. We both ran out of hope long ago, but what if this is our final chance to get it back. There is this entire planet before us and we are able to create it how we want to. That’s how I see us. Sure we’ve had some negatives, but once you wake up, we can build ourselves back, and even stronger than we were before. I don’t want to forget our past, but maybe we can make a better future, together on this planet.

I will find a solution.

We will meet again.


	3. April 14th, 2082

April 14th, 2082

Dear Marcus. 

       This is it. It has been 1 year since I woke up. 1 year without you. Of course, you are still here, but I haven’t been able to hold you, hug you, or tell you how much I love you. It’s been a year. Not a great year. Nothing can be great when you aren’t around for me to share the joy with. 

       We’ve built a life here. I think we can all finally live without the fighting. It will be a hard adjustment, but everyone has been busy building houses that there is no time to fight. We’ve all been voting and deciding on how we should set up this “city”, and the number of ideas is endless. We have this whole planet, and this planet is full of life. We’re finally not just alive. We have a chance to live. 

       Another reason I decided to write today was that we are going to try to wake you up. We tried before. 3 months ago. It didn’t go well. I hope this time goes better, and if it doesn’t, I think I finally have the tools I need to fix you. Last time you really gave me a scare Marcus Kane. I was able to get your heart rate back up to normal levels, but not before you entered this coma. This coma wasn’t supposed to happen. I had to put you in the first coma so you would survive. I guess you liked dreaming and being with Vera, Sinclair, and Lincoln, that you weren’t quite ready to come back yet. That’s okay. But, today. Today I need you to come back. 

      This has to work today. You will not die Marcus Kane. You are going to have an extraordinary life. I know what it is like to love and be loved by you, and there is no way I’m letting that go. There is a fire that burns inside you, and a pulsing desire you have to make the world a better place. This is your chance. All I need is for you to come out of this. Please come out of the coma. 

       This journal has kept me alive over the past year. It is my safe space, while my safe place is in a coma. Hopefully, after today, you will be awake and I can explain everything to you instead of writing it down. This journal has been great, but seeing your beautiful eyes, being held by your strong arms, and listening to your soothing voice offer me solutions and support is far better than these pieces of paper will ever be. 

Today is when you wake up.

May we meet again. 

Soon. It needs to be soon. 


	4. April 13th 2082

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dates for these journals will not be in order, as I wanted the readers to find out she was trying to bring him out of cryosleep again in a journal to Marcus, but I also think Abby would talk to Vera about Marcus while he is in cryosleep.

April 13th, 2082

Dear Vera,

       I know you might be surprised to hear from me, but I know you love Marcus more than anyone. You knew Marcus was great before I even believed it. 

      As you know, he’s always had this energy to him. This need to be great. He’s done it. He’s been better than great. 

     I’ve never been one to beg, but please can you watch over Marcus while he is in a coma. Tomorrow is when I will try to wake him again, but as you know, last time was not successful. We know he doesn’t always listen to me, but I need him back. I know if he could come back, I’m sure he would come back to me. Maybe his mind needs that extra push.

    Marcus and you were not always on the best terms, but since he came to Earth, he has been trying harder than anyone I know to make life peaceful for all of us. It’s all he ever wanted. He finally had a 2nd chance with me after the bunker, but I couldn’t give it to him at the time.

    He deserves so much more than me, but please help me and guide me in fixing him and bringing him back. I will do everything I can to show him that he is great and that he is the son that you deserved. 

   I fear tomorrow might be our last chance. If I continue bringing him out of cryosleep, and he slips into comas, that increases the damage that could be done to his brain. At this point, I would take any Marcus, but I know that Marcus wouldn’t want to live that way. That’s why tomorrow has to work. It just has to. 

   Thank you for raising Marcus into the man he is today. You have taught him to be kind, peaceful, and generous. He is going to live a long and great life. His story. Our story. It isn’t over yet. 

May we meet again. 


End file.
